Twists of Fate

Is it odd, do you think, to feel a major sense of accomplishment at clearing out the google reader queue? There were probably 200+ entries in there that I hadn’t had a chance to catch up on, but I’m “working” from home today (I actually am working and take a break now and again to scroll through stuff).

I had a fairly good holiday, when I look back on it. I spent three of the four days off with other people, and made some new friends. Monday was spent with my sister. “Children of Men” is an interesting film, but very violent. I keep reliving parts in my dreams since the day, and that’s really no good at all.

I feel slightly ashamed of myself, on the material plane. I forgave a fairly huge debt, am knitting a sweater for a family member, and I got…a pound of coffee and leftover pastry for the holiday. Don’t get me wrong - me and the Beans are like a OTP, but it was a fairly pointed reminder of just how far the family doesn’t go to try to get to know me or what I enjoy. Another perfect example - brother mine who is working on one of the Big Nature Magazine Adventure Tour Boats actually visited the Falklands, but I could hear the snort when I asked via email if he would pick me up some wool from there. I never did hear back about my request. In fact, I just realized I didn’t get a personalized holiday message from him at all; I think our relationship is likely eroding beyond repair after The Big To-Do this fall.

Anyway, that’s all over and done with. I need to finish this first (and probably last) sweater for my sister, and move on. It’s a lovely sky blue yarn, and I’m using the lovely Chicknits Cardi pattern. It might be a bit big on her, but I’m OK with that.

My intent when I started this post was actually to say how much the sky blue was helping combat the holiday blues, but stopping to think about family seems to have dragged me down into tears and …not regret, but resignation. I think I’ll take my lunch break now and actually knit on the second sleeve. Knitting = good for what ails ya.

A more upbeat post soon, I hope. This time of the year is, frankly, the absolute worst for me. I’m pleasantly surprised I made it nearly through to the end of the year w/out a small breakdown. Every year away from the memories means more healing and fewer crying jags. And I can definitely raise my (eyewateringly alcoholic…oops!) glass of eggnog to that.