Twists of Fate

How do you all deal with disappointment? I try to be graceful about it, but often times not only fall short of the mark, but miss it completely. Granted, this could be because I continue to work 60 hours a week and just didn’t have time to check the Ravelry inbox, but I missed out on Alice Starmore’s Tudor Roses by many hours today, even if I was the first to respond to the post.

This sent me into a very embarassing crying jag on the damn phone while talking to a coworker, who was understandably confused when I tried to explain. “A knitting book? And this is a big deal why?” He’s a good guy who has his own obsessions, so I phrased it in a way he understood and he got it. He’s also new and exhausted and has coped with some of the stuff at work his own way lately, so we just dealt with me snotting and blubbering all over the phone and moved on.

But stilll. I’ve wanted that book for a long time now, and to miss out on it by a few hours when I finally have the money to get it makes me sick. Having the flu isn’t helping, and I “left” work after ten hours today because I just need to go to bed early and maybe have one of those therapeutic sobbing sessions that lets you back off from the edge a bit and get a grip on reality.

I just wish La Starmore hadn’t been the one to push me over the edge.

Days like this I can see the advantage in having a hand knitted shawl. It’s like a hug when you can’t find someone to give you one in person.

*deep breaths*