Twists of Fate

I’m participating in the Spin for Peace group on Ravelry for the duration of the Beijing 2008 Summer Olympics. Instead of watching the games, I’m going to spend that time in mindful meditation at my wheel.

I am posting a few links tonight as a reminder that while China has made some steps towards improving their human rights record (and yes, I realize how hypocritical it is for a US citizen to be saying this, given the actions of our government, especially since 9/11), they have not done enough.

None of us are free until ALL of us are free.

A couple of links for you. International Campaign for Tibet and Bev’s post, with a great link to Pippi Knee Socks’ Free Tibet yarn.

I wanted to dye up some fiber in the orangey-red color I see so many Buddhist monks wear, or the darker reddish version I’ve seen the nuns wear, but it seemed disrespectful. Instead I’m spinning some Shetland wool roving I got in a sampler pack, and I hope time will allow me to make something out of it that I can then auction or raffle, with the proceeds going to an organization dedicated to helping Tibetan refugees living in India.

I am one voice, but I will add mine to the chorus protesting China’s treatment of the Tibetan people, and call for an end to the occupation of Tibet.

Kitt: “Do you have a goal?”
Other hooker: “I always wanted to be in the Ice Capades.”

Bowerbird knits has a great post with all kinds of good info today. The contest really makes me think, though. I kind of went on in the comments, but I’ll just C&P here, as it really encapsulates what I want.

I want to make things and have people buy them. I’m thinking mostly batts that I’ll blend by hand, and hopefully some dyed yarns. I have nearly all the pieces assembled, and now I just need to finish organizing the studio, make up my bases and…go. I’m terrified, frankly, but look forward to it.

Most of all? I want to find some balance. This past couple of years has been crazy with work taking over everything. So much so that I’ve spent the majority of the past two months recovering from that consulting gig. I don’t ever want to be drained to that point ever again. I want to treat myself better, to be healthier, to learn to say no to the things that are incredibly unreasonable but also the things that aren’t really in scope for what I do. I need to work to live, not live to work. This is my main goal for the foreseeable future.

So there you go. I’m hoping to have my first blends up in September. I carry a couple of notebooks around with me all the time, jotting down thoughts and color ideas. I have no training, no knowledge beyond what I know in books and have read on the web, but I’m going to do this anyway.

I wish I’d been less cranky and more talented during the first day of three at the workshop with Carol Rhodes today. I…will have to work on my 3-ply for Aran yarns along with my outlook for the year to come.

Most of this past year was a blur. Work took over my life. Balance was a word in a dictionary, or something small young women do on a 4″ beam in the Olympics. I vented my frustration by buying more yarn and fiber then I can probably use in the next five years, along with a ton of equipment that I hope to utilize in some revenue generating activities in the coming months.

For all I learned professionally this year, and grew as a person, I still have a long way to go. I hope that this year I can do it with a lot more grace, and a bit more happiness, wonder and joy.

Still can’t get into what will be my crafting space, as the eviction proceedings to get Psycho!Renter out are not yet complete. This is driving me batty, as equipment and supplies are arriving, and I have no where to put it. Soon, I’ll be typing these blog entries perched on top of a cardboard box, because it’ll be the only place left that’s relatively flat and unoccupied.

Still feeling glum and a bit down. This time, though, I blame hormones which meas that later this week things should be looking up. I hope. I’m not sure, but I hope. I notice that when I’m down and kinda foggy, I forget to eat, which kind of sucks. Must remember to do that. It’s a bit easier now that I’ve had a chance to go to the farmers markets for fresh produce. Fresh Rainier cherries will get me to eat when I totally don’t feel like it. In fact, I should go and get some now, and let them warm a smidge before going to town.

In knitting news? I’m working very desultorily on a sock, and pondering starting a hat/mitts set from one of Anne’s patterns and yarn from A Piece of Vermont Real Vermonter Bristol. I got a lovely blueish green and the natural, which I think would look groovy together. I haven’t actually opened the package though, so I’m not sure.

Man oh man I cannot wait to organize my living space. I find it really hard to knit or spin or even read in here when it’s this crowded. Time to ping the landlady again about the whole shebang.

I hope you all are enjoying the weather wherever you are!

To give you some frame of reference for my state of mind right now, I cried like crazy at seeing hummingbirds sipping at the feeder I put out for them. I was devastated at the idea that the stray kitty I’ve been feeding might not come back because I didn’t have time to stop and feed her two days ago when I was on my way out of the house. She didn’t come back that day, but came back yesterday and I burst into tears that this mew trusted me enough to come back for nummies.

I have so many plans, all of which are stalled until they finish all the eviction proceedings for the crazy dude who used to live here. I think that may be done later this week, but landlady still needs to go in and clean, so in all reality, it won’t be until this weekend before I can get in there. Which really blows, as it puts my plans two weeks behind.

Ah well. Maybe it’s for the best. Last week I ended up crashing physically, coming down from over a year of massive stress from this past job. This week? Appears to be the emotional cratering. I have a hard time believing anyone wants anything to do with me aside from what I can do for them, and this past 10 days of mostly complete isolation is…very odd, especially after spending my work days with a ton of people.

I think I knit all of three rows on a dishcloth this week. I hope to get to slapping the Woolee Winder on the Majacraft Alpaca next week, but can’t unearth the winder and bobbins until I can move into my new craft space. The picker from Pat Green should be here shortly, the sunshine has finally gotten to a point where I can do a yearly shake ‘n bake in black plastic bags for the fleeces, and I hope to get my ass out of this house and to a bookstore or a coffee shop to do some research in a comfy chair. I’d do it at home, but I can’t see the couch under all the boxes.

There’s a family of squirrels playing tag on my stairs. There’s five of them, and the poodles that live upstairs are going insane with WANT! The slow drowsy sound of bumblebees harvesting pollen from the plethora of flowering weeds in my “yard” is sleepymaking (not that it takes much right now). Ah, everyone just made for the trees because GhostyMew (stray kitty…she’s a longhair grey with sea green eyes SO PRETTY!) is here and wants lunch. Better go work on that. :)

Someday soon I’ll get over this feeling of purposelessness and this drifting. I suppose I’ve earned it over the past couple of years, but it’s difficult to adjust to after the fuss, bother and insanity.

Going through a transitional phase at the mo. Feeling just draggy, sad and just freakin’ WEEPY all the time, which is very disconcerting. I know it’s all a part of the destressing period after 20 months of crap, but it is not what I had planned for my week.

I had planned to get many fibery things done. However, the space for my fiber studio is still in flux (thanks landlady), and I have no idea when I’ll be able to get in there. I am hoping that most of it will be wrapped up later this weekend and I’ll be able to start my plans. Until then, I’m struggling with disappointment (wanted to make beeswax candles on Litha but no way no how), and exhaustion, and sickness and, above all things, a weird clinging sense of sadness.

I also had camnesia and forgot to take a pic of the one tiny FO I’ve managed to do in recent weeks. A square for Ryan’s afghan, but I can see it made it safely to the Feral Knitter in her last post. This pleases me.

All in all, still a rough ride lately, but for now? There is coffee. Everything perks up when there’s coffee. Heh.

I love the smell on the air this time of year. I mean, not so much the tree sexxin and all the flowers waiting for the bees to scoop up their pollen because that way lies mass sneezing, but. It still smells fantastic. Even with the fine drizzle currently coming down from the sky, which really just makes it all that much more lovely. More vibrant. More real.

I had a lovely day yesterday. I met up with two fannish friends, one of whom was visiting our fair area from Scotland. Even though Feather, who lives in Monroe, doesn’t knit, Cats does. She has had a hell of a time trying to find a good yarn shop in her area, so we set out to show her a few of my favs. We spent a goodly amount of time in Village Yarn and Tea, where she had a great time poking about and found two of the things on her list that she really, really wanted to find. She also said the cup of tea we lingered over was the best one anyone had made for her since she came to visit, and was quite pleased with the entire experience.

Sadly, VY&T didn’t have the needles she was looking for, so we headed into Seattle to visit Weaving Works. And that was even more fun! She stood in front of a few of the shelves and leaned close to me, muttering, “I think I’m about to have a spontaneous orgasm!”

Heh.

She did find the batch of yarn she was looking for for her jumper, a lovely bright green in Cascade 220 that will be perfect for the project. We also found a few sock yarns that were pleasing, and I had the good fortune to watch her knit up most of a sock for Feather in just a few hours after we left the store. I mean, it would take me weeks to get to where she was at in three hours or so! It was really neat to see a different technique, and in all that time, we hardly actually talked about fannish things at all!

We spent a few hours back at Feather’s place, and I got to meet her menagerie of animals, which included two cockatoos! They’re just fascinating, and one of them was so sweet and gave me little parrot smoochies, and said “Whatchoo doon?” and “Hello!” and, most awww inducing, “I wuv you!” She even said it shyly, with a little duck of her head. AWWWW!

Feather isn’t a knitter, but even she found a few things at Weaving Works, including some bright and cheerfully peach/orange chunky that she’s asked me to knit up into a hat/scarf combo for her next winter. Hopefully it won’t take me that long! I’ll have to poke around for some good patterns, but if you have any feel free to drop a line here?

I’m so glad Spring is here. And that I got to spend a smashing day with a pair of truly gorgeous women. Thanks Feather and Cats!